The Chain Reaction of Evil

          As many, many people remarked on the anniversary of 9/11, I also began to think of that day.  I remember waking up and eating breakfast on the floor with my dog, Spot (I liked being close to him, and he liked to be close to my cereal bowl). My dad came home from work and turned on the TV and told everyone to come to the living room because something had happened. There was something in his voice that really scared me. I asked him what had happened; he replied he didn’t know, but it was bad. I remember us all sitting there shocked and silent.  The only thought that ran through my head was – Oh my gosh, I am watching people die right now. And I kept imaging the terror of those people in the buildings. I went to school but we didn’t do anything in a single class except listen to the radio.  The whole school was a lot quieter that day. We had soccer practice after school; I fell and hurt my knee and had to go to the ER.  For the million hours I was in the ER (there is no such thing as a quick ER visit), every TV had the news on and they were just replaying clips of the planes hitting, buildings falling, people screaming, the confusion and the sheer terror.  People all over the ER were crying. I was sobbing.
            Over the last 11 years, I have watched the increase of hate, zenophobia, racism, and violence threaten to swallow up so many people. The terribleness of that day has only worsened with these things added to it.  I also watched as war, destruction, death, and violence ripped apart other nations and, I would also argue, our own.  However, I like the idea of “remembering 9/11.”  It is good to stop and remember that this is yet another example where love, forgiveness, peace, healing, and where the commonality of the human race (and as sons and daughters of God) can triumph over mere nationalistic interests. How fleeting the latter is when we look at the former! No nation has stood the test of time – not even the seemingly invincible Roman Empire! Neither will America.  So, if we say, “we will never forget,” let us mean that we will not forget to keep those affected by the violence and death on both sides of the conflict in prayer.  Let us not forget that a person of one nationality is not intrinsically more valuable than that of another. Loving, remembering, and praying for those affected by the tragedy of 9/11 does not mean we have to increase our hate or fear of others. Again, this only makes things worse. Paying hate for hate will never end well. As many nations in the Middle East have begun to attack U.S. embassies, I am once again seeing shocking images of a people who hate others. And I am not referring to Middle Eaterners, but U.S. citizens, many whom are Christians, who are saying and posting the most derogatory, offensive remarks.  I understand it is a terrible situation, but "repaying an eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind." Only through love and forgiveness can anyone move forward. We may not have control of the feelings of others, but we can do something about ourselves. And as Mother Teresa has advocated, changing the world will always begin by changing yourself. 

Above all, if we want to be a Church that looks anything like what God has in mind, it is bigger than any nation or people group! The Church does not stop at boarders! The Church is made up of every color, nationality, and background, otherwise we have no Good News – we would no longer be the Church.  Instead of choosing hate, let us live with the very radical values of Christ and his kingdom. For we are not citizens of a nation, but of the kingdom of God. We would do well to adopt the values of the future kingdom and stop placing our American identity over and above citizenship that matters much more – citizen of the human race and, most importantly, a citizen of heaven.  For that is what we are called to do: to live lives of radical love and forgiveness, to help heal a very broken world, to love our neighbors, and to live out the irresistible revolution of Christianity. So, let this week’s anniversary be a stepping stone in the long path of healing for those wounded and who lost loved ones, let this be a day to reflect on the consequences of violence, let this be a day to forgive and to take up the challenge of loving our neighbors. And let this be a path we follow in the wake of these terrible mobs who gather on the basis of hate.  Let us "love our enemies," because right now we look a lot like the people we are criticizing. I will end with one of my favorite Martin Luther King quotes (who continues to blow me away by his insistence that loving our enemies is the ONLY way to move forward. There are no other paths that work.  I also posted a picture above that moved me to tears while visiting the King center - a picture of King continuing to love his enemies even while he is mistreated and jailed by them): 

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that...Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. 

So let us stop this "chain reaction of evil" in its midst and choose a different path. Breaking this chain reaction starts at a personal level...where is your heart at?

God and America

I sometimes don't know what to do with the fourth of July and other patriotic holidays.  I love going to BBQ's, swimming, hanging out with friends and family, and even celebrating America's history (I love history but I love it even more if involves lighting fireworks).  What I have a hard time with is how the church celebrates these holidays. Church potlucks are amazing (which should go without saying) but there is a fine line between celebrating a cultural holiday and the church asserting that America is somehow more worthy of blessing than any other nation on earth. Do we really need to keep producing bumper stickers asking God to bless America when a large potion of the world lives in poverty, where child and sex slavery is a common affair, and war (as well as rape, civilians casualties, corrupt governments, destroyed property, lost jobs, ruined economies, and everything else that comes with it) is a problem in a lot of other nation? Or what about blessing the inner-cities of America? Places ravaged by gun and gang violence? Or the rural poor of America? I have a feeling this is not who is in mind when "God Bless America" is used. I actually like the bumper stickers (since we are on the topic of bumper stickers) that responds to this problematic statement with sayings like, "God bless the world" or "God bless EVERYONE" usually with an underline or bold type that highlights that more should be blessed than just America.

I have a confession to make. At a church I use to work at, I went out of my mind at how closely intertwined American pride and Christianity were.  One ministry that served soldiers had a poll asking people if they thought if Jesus were alive today, if he would be in the army. The answer to the survey was suppose to be "Yes." I don't remember how they came up with this answer but after being in New Testament studies for going on my 9th year I have a very difficult time understanding where that unequivocal "yes" came from. I was so frustrated with this group that after they had a party and left all there patriotic decorations up around the church buildings, I went and torn them down and threw them away. I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do (or even the mature thing to do) but what they were doing felt morally wrong and this was my act of rebellion against it.

One reason this bothers me so much is due to traveling as well as visiting churches all over the world. It saddens me that churches as well as Christians in America forget their brothers and sisters from around the globe so easily. Most Christians are not American. Most churches are not in America. America is not a Christian state (at least, not in the same way that Iran is a Muslim nation). So instead of celebrating our diversity and a unity that is stronger than any mere nationality - the tie that binds us as Christ followers - some take what should be cultural holidays and intertwine them so closely with the gospel and its message that I have a hard time seeing the love of Christ for ALL people in that message any longer. I also wonder how many would feel if the position was reversed and Christians in an enemy nation were cheering on their government by blending church and patriotic sentiment together. Do you suppose there are Iraqi Christians with bumper stickers on their cars saying God Bless Iraq? And celebrate various battles they have won against American troops in their services? I know this is making an absurd comparison, but are there not some similarities? Most of us would be horrified! I would contend that it would be better if neither Iraqi churches nor American churches celebrated their superiority over one another and instead focused on the Church - which is made up of every nation on earth, including nations that are enemies of the U.S. Just look at how the the early church started in Jerusalem and moved all over the Roman Empire and beyond! Just look at the teachings of Paul and how God is no longer a God of a single nation but is the God of all kinds of people in all kinds of places.

What do you think? These are just some of the struggles I have had. Have you struggled with this? Or is this really not an issue for you? Many Christians (like the group I mentioned above) are very for this idea of God and country, while others (like myself) are horrified that we are so quick to forget not only the rest of the human population but our sisters and brothers. I have been to churches in many countries and I have always been struck by the warm welcome I receive from churches and Christians for no other reason than they see me and as their sister. It is a tie that binds us no matter what nation one is from or what ones cultural or ethnic background is.

"The tragedy of the church's reaction to September 11th is not that we rallied around the families in New York and D.C. but that our love simply reflected the borders and allegiances of the world. We mourned the deaths of each soldier, as we should, but we did not feel the same anger and pain for each Iraqi death, or for the folks abused in the Abu Ghraib prison incident. We got farther and farther from Jesus' vision, which extends beyond our rational love and the boundaries we have established. There is no doubt that we must mourn those lives on September 11th. We must mourn the lives of the soldiers. But with the same passion and outrage, we must mourn the lives of every Iraqi who is lost. They are just as precious, no more, no less. In our rebirth, every life lost in Iraq is just as tragic as a life lost in New York or D.C. And the lives of the thirty thousand children who die of starvation each day is like six September 11ths every single day, a silent tsunami that happens every week.” ― Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical

Here is a link to an interesting online magazine which deals mainly with non-violence and the problems of war and the toll they take on the soldiers.  It's a bit off topic, but it deals with the dilemma of alligence to one's nation verses alligence to the larger kingdom of God. http://conspiremag.com/current-issues/

Women in the Bible: Mary in Luke's Gospel

           In the narrative surrounding the Magnificat, Luke weaves the birth stories of John and Jesus into a tapestry of joyful songs, hope for the oppressed, and miraculous announcements by heavenly beings.  When Gabriel announces the pregnancy to Mary, she shows her obedience by hurrying to Elizabeth’s house.  When Mary first speaks to her, the baby in Elizabeth’s womb leaps and she is able to interpret her baby’s movement like Rebecca in Gen 25:21.  They are the first to realize the significance of the child Mary is carrying.  Elizabeth is then filled with the Holy Spirit and blesses Mary and her baby.  While John is a character whose birth is significant enough to require an angelic announcement, Elizabeth acknowledges Mary’s superiority in the situation.  This leads Mary to burst into a ballad of praise for God’s blessing of her and for bringing about the eschatological hopes of Israel.  Luke’s narration brings the movement of the story to a complete halt after Mary meets with Elizabeth.  The purpose of this deliberate slowing is hermeneutical – that is, to ensure that his audience understands the significance of the angel’s proclamation to Mary, her conception, and the blessing pronounced by Elizabeth – and that meaning is rooted in the covenantal purpose of God.

          The intent of God, as described in the Magnificat, functions as a foretaste of what the major themes of Luke-Acts will be.  Mary’s hymn, which is a prophecy of Jesus’ significance in Luke, has an emphasis on women, the poor, the reversal of fortunes between the arrogant and the lowly, and the fulfillment of God’s promises to Abraham.  Mary’s Song juxtaposes the lots of the proud, mighty, and rich against the lowly and hungry: the former are scattered, put down, and sent away hungry, while the latter are exalted and filled.  This is the core of Luke’s gospel: Jesus is good news to all, but especially to those who have none.  In the Synoptic Gospels, the evangelists show Jesus’ concern for outcasts; but Luke places a special emphasis on those who are on the periphery.  This binary of the powerful and the lowly anticipates a major theme of the Lukan narrative.  He focuses on reversals where the rich and powerful are frustrated, while the lowly know true exaltation.  The opponents of Jesus (and therefore God’s purpose) are characters who desire positions of honor and who exclude the less fortunate and socially unacceptable from their live.  The Magnificat is more than simply a joyous scene of praise; it is an integral part of the introduction to what the good news means to Luke and the lens through which to read Luke-Acts.  The poor and the lowly have cause to lift their voices and join Mary in song! 

Light

After reading 2 Corinthians 3, I was moved to write about how some of Paul's words about what Jesus' resurrection has meant not only to all people but also to me personally and I shared this with my church family on Sunday...

During high school, I had an amazing senior year. I had easy classes, lots of fun with friends, and I even was prom queen. But I didn’t take Christianity that seriously. It was something I did on Sunday but it didn’t let it permeate into the rest of my life. But towards the end of year, tragedy stuck – I had 3 friends commit suicide all around the same time. I fell into a deep and dark depression. It was like the whole world lost all of its color. Anything but sadness became absolutely foreign to me. After months of this I realized I needed help getting out of the pit I had fallen into. I turned to Christ ad began to pursue him wholeheartedly. Today we will me listening meditating and hearing a sermon on 2 Corinthians 3. Paul speaks of there being a major world shift before and after Christ’s sacrifice. One of the prominent metaphors Paul uses to talk about the state of the world before and after Christ’s resurrection is light. Before Christ’s resurrection no one could stand to look at God’s glory – the world could only glimpse the shadow of God in the world. It was as if everyone only saw in black in white or only a shadow of the true world. But after Christ, the world became bright and filled with light and color. Christ’s sacrifice made this all possible. The world is now a completely different place because of Him. So today I would like you to meditate on what areas of your life that Christ has brought light to or may still need to. Maybe it was depression or drug abuse. Or maybe you still need to ask God to shine the light of his glory into those areas of your life. Let us pray and thank Jesus for his sacrifice so that we can live a life that people only dreamed of before Christ. Let us thank Him and remember the sacrifice he gave because he loved us so much that he could not stand to let us walk around in darkness any longer. Let us thank him that we can live in boldness and freedom with our hearts unveiled to the love of Christ.

One Life to Live

I especially have one particular flaw that surfaces from time to time - especially around birthdays and special occasions - that life just goes too fast and I do not deal well with that. I am not even very old and almost every birthday I have a midlife crisis! (After all, who knows when midlife is for each of us? I guess I just try to be on the safe side and freak out every year, just in case.)  Sometimes I just look around and realize everything is completely different than it was even a year ago.  I lost my uncle to a quick and terrible bout of cancer, 
I moved across the country, started an M. Div. at a new school, lost and made some new friends, am living away from my family for the first time, became ordained, have a new dog, and am finally doing better with my stomach problems. Most of that was unseen this time last year! I worry that I am going to list a life with impoverished experiences, that I will not be able to fulfill my goals and dreams, that I will live an average life, and that I will lose people I love to distance or death. (Some thoughts are more ridiculous than others are. I distinctly remember stressing out that I hadn't slept in the desserts of Morocco with Bedouins yet, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro -which I don't even climb mountains, received my Ph. D, read every classic book, learned to play the piano, or revolutionized the world of women's ministry in the Christian Church by publishing Bible studies that are actually well-researched and not just craziness, and so on and so on.) 


My wonderful husband, however, once again reminded me how contrary this is to the faith I proclaim.  It is in fact only through the faith I possess that I am actually able to live fully and to live beyond the base ideas of what a "good" life are. It is only by living completely sold out on the idea of the God of Love and the Grace of Christ that I am able to live a life that means much of anything in the end.

I heard a great story today on the two men who started Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1930's. To this day the first Sunday of every June, hundreds and thousands of people gather at their gravesites to remember and thank these men who lived their lives completely sold out for God and have saved so many from alcoholism. One woman who they interviewed said that her son was in AA. She said she gave birth to him around 30 years ago, but that AA gave him life again last year. She began to weep uncontrollably (I was as well at this point). What a beautiful legacy to leave! 

The definition of Amy


As I was stressing for the millionth time about grades and other school things, I suddenly realized how silly I sounded.  It is not bad to care about how well one does in school (especially when this is your calling and career), but I was startled when I realized what it was that I had let define me and my self worth. If I get an A, I'm the most awesome person ever. If I get something lower, I begin to question my self-worth and what I am even doing in school. Both extremes are a problem!  I gave up a lot of things to move here to Georgia, and I feel like I did the wrong thing when I am less successful than I thought I would be.  And this probably sounds silly to a lot of people; nonetheless, this is basically how most of this year at Emory has gone.  Actually, it goes back further than that.  Half way through my undergrad I suddenly found something I loved and was passionate about.  So that's two years of undergrad, three years of an MA, and 1 year of an M. Div.  That's a lot of time to spend worrying! The problem is, however, that I got A's and awards in everything . So, it wasn't evident to me that there was a problem because it was never challenged. Now that my grades are sometimes less than I expect, I suddenly realize what I have tied up my self-worth in and began to take a hard look at myself.  


Besides the school problems, I have been having a lot of health problems.  When you have chronic health issues that never seem to go away and always seem to hold you back from your "true" self (or what you want to be your true self), it is difficult not to see myself as a sick person who just can't seem to do anything she wants. But again, I don't want a major part of my identity to be a sick person. That is just is depressing!


Then I was curious about how other people see themselves, their obstacles, and who they want to be. I began to listen to friends and family, and realized most of them aren't happy with their currently selves either. 


It's always hard when you examine yourself and realize that you are not who you want to be. I love school and learning, but that is not the only thing I want to be defined by and I don't want what I think about myself to change every time I get a paper back. And I definitely don't want to be a person defined by my health problems. I want to be happy and free-spirited. I want travel and go on adventures.   I want to try new foods, see new places, and meet new people. I want to be outside - hiking, taking pictures, walking Rommie, or sitting on top of Stone Mountain watching birds with Jon. I want to eat healthy and cook real food instead of frozen dinners. I want to take what the world gives me and be OK with it.  I want to be known for Christ-like love and kindness.  I want to put my self-worth in something bigger and more stable than my performance in school - like how my husband sees me, how much my family loves me, and, even more so, what God thinks of me. 


The good news is that we are always changing.  We never have to stay the same person. We never have to be something we don't like. So, this is my challenge to myself and to you. What can you and I do today to move closer to who we want to be and what God has called us to be? As for me...today I am going to go on a long walk with Romulus. I am going to pick daffodils and place them in my bud vases all over the house. I am going to do my best in school and be proud of it, no matter what grade I get back. I am going to  get back to the joy of learning new things and challenging old ideas.  I am going to look at my lower grades as a chance to be a better student and scholar. Because, even if I am not who I want to be, I can always be moving forward instead of backward. And if our lives are a journey, it is better to be moving forward (and onto unexpected paths and side-streets) instead of staying stagnant.  

Leaving

It's been two weeks since we decided to move across the country to attend Emory's MDiv program.  I waver between extreme excitement and asking myself "What the heck am I doing?"  One thing I will definitely miss is conversations with my friends and family.  We would sit and talk (usually involving tea and ALWAYS over food) over all sorts of things we did during our week.  And it depresses me that this won't be a weekly event anymore.  So, one way to fix this is by sharing my thoughts and ideas through a blog.  I've always wanted to start a blog but felt intimidated about putting my ideas out for the world to judge and critique.  But this is not what a blog necessarily has to be about.  Instead it's a way to help digest my thoughts and ideas I know I will learn by moving across the country, making new friends, and going to a new school.  This new semester will be a time of adventure!